Jordan Watson vs Enriko Kehl; England vs Germany, Kehl Or Be Kehl’d – Jingoism Imminent
With Daniel S. Fletcher
March 1st, Cork, Ireland; the Siam Warriors card is set to star the 70kg superstars of European Muay Thai; ‘world’ champions and Buakaw common opponents, Jordan “Quadzilla” Watson and Germany’s Enriko Kehl!!
Prevailing western sentiment dictates that the boring, pompous contradiction in terms that is “objective journalism” must be maintained to the maximum, and as such, “journalistic integrity” dictates that it would be absolutely abhorrent, crude and reprehensible behaviour to cite jingoistic chants designed only to rile up the good people of Deutschland.
Crude jingoism, such as…. therrrrrrrrrre…. were…. ten German bombers in the air… you know, that stuff. The “RAF of England” football chant, about shooting planes out of the air in the beloved tradition of reminding Deutsches volk about military victory in the 1940 Battle of Britain when the two countries face off in the sports realm. Also out of bounds; “Endlosung der Judenfragen“, “the Fuhrer”, “Konzentrationslager“, “Reichsmarschall Goering”, “Reichsprotektor Heydrich”, “Reichsfuhrer-SS Himmler” and Joseph the Poison Dwarf. And his six kids.
Only kidding, of course; playing with you. I love Germany. You people are renowned for your sense of humour, after all… and gosh darn it, it must be pretty fucking schweeet being able to claim Beethoven, Mozart, Wagner, von Goethe, Einstein, Freude, Jung and Schopenhauer as your own. Not to mention our (England’s) language, and our Royal Family to boot, the bunch of eugenicist blue blood shyster filth…
From Germany comes Beethoven’s Fifth & Ninth Symphonies (the latter of which includes Ode an die Freude; listening to which is the best fun you can have with your clothes on and to be perfectly honest – at its peak – even better fun than you can have with clothes off) plus Mozart’s Requiem and 40th Symphony, Wagner’s Gotterdammerung (Twilight of the Gods), the entire Ring des Nibelung saga, and The Valkyrie, Goethe’s Faust, Nietzsche, Freud, Einstein’s theory of relativity and a million and one breakthroughs in the crucial fields of medicine, psychology and philosophy.
Also from Germany? Enriko Kehl.
Jordan Watson is a former ISKA “world” & The Contender light-middleweight champion (70kg).
Enriko Kehl is one of Europe’s “next big things”, whose run of form was halted in imperious fashion by an almost brutally composed Buakaw, who picked his German foe apart and delivered his typical scornful beatdown with the arrogance of a conqueror.
Jordan, a product of the best Muay Thai camp in Europe, Britain, England, Leeds – of course, Bad Company, the home of Watson, Harrison, Howson and co. – the multi-time junior world champion himself broke through the adult ranks to fight Buakaw in 2010, and truth be told, extended the ‘kaw further than any others have managed thus far in Buakaw’s ‘second’ Muay Thai career, following his defection back to his country’s sport in 2009 after years flying the flag in K-1.
An all-but evenly-matched contest would have gone the other way, had the rounds been reversed; Watson kicked away the back leg of Buakaw to send the world-famous Thai crashing to the canvas, which unsurprisingly delighted the partisan London crowd. Alas, a subsequent Buakaw knockdown in the ’rounds that count’ to Muay Thai judges was enough to take the win back east, though a then-22yr old Watson was automatically elevated to The Big Stage.
Further bouts against the titans of Thailand Muay Thai have followed; Jordan had two 50/50 bouts in 2013; an unlucky draw in GLORY with Thai superstar Kem Sitsongpeenong, and then taking on Thailand champion Sittichai Sitsongpeenong, perhaps the best that one of Bangkok’s foremost camps can field. Coming out of those bouts with a 0-1-1 record on paper was truly unfortunate for Quadzilla, for whom a case could be made in either bout. His work – by Thai or falang standards – was top-notch.
Kehl too had his tilt at the top; a Buakaw bout, in which he did not fare as well as did Watson, in May of 2010. Kehl was dissected by Buakaw at his cruel best; the German never looked like the fight was his to win, and the ‘kaw won at a canter.
I could further analyse Kehl’s style and credentials, but I wont. Objective journalism is for idiots; that kind of thinking saw Sports Illustrated “aggressively reject” the article Hunter S. Thompson submitted in 1971 that became the first part of what was fleshed out and doubled in size to be accepted by Rolling Stone as a TWO-part article, entitled “Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas“. Fuck objectivity. Fuck editorial values.
Let’s go Quadzilla! Once more unto the breach.